Have Courage and Be Kind

Ya know, I’m not a big movie person. I would rather be outside and enjoying the sun than sit in a dark, cold, overpriced movie theatre. But, as with everything, there are exceptions – Fast and Furious, Lord of the Rings, Hot Rod, and the one I want to address now, Cinderella.

As I’m sure you’ve seen in the many ads, or even in the movie, Cinderella’s mom tells her to Have Courage and Be Kind.

I want you to think about his for jjuusstt a second. Mostly because I’m trying to think of an articulate way to portray this into words. (The cursor has been flashing for 5 minutes and I’m still not thinking of anything.)

I would encourage you to apply this phrase to every decision you have to make. Whether it’s being a good friend or doing something that scares you. It takes courage to branch out; to talk to someone you don’t know or to move away from your home town. It takes courage to stand up for yourself or to stand up for someone else. It also take courage to be kind.

I know I’m not the best example of kindness – I’m far too sarcastic and I’m way over the top. But, I will say this for myself, I will go out of my way if I know you’re having a hard time. I feel that this sounds egocentric or conceited, and I apologize if it seems that way. But it’s my one redeeming quality, so let me live. Here I am, getting away from the point I’m actually trying to make.

Guys, being kind is so important. Please think of one occasion when being unkind was the solution to any problem. The situations are few and far between. Being kind is so hard, but also very easy. Think of all that is going on in the world right now – all the contention, all the competition, all the stress. Don’t you think we could all be a little kinder to those around us? Whether it’s smiling at a stranger that you pass in the hallway or sending a text to someone you haven’t spoken too in a while, or telling that person that they have a nice smile, please be kind. If you make the conscious decision to be kind to those around you, your whole day will be different. Kindness does not have to be some extravagant action. Kindness can be just giving a little bit of thought into what comes out of your mouth. How often do we just spit out words without thinking it through? And how often do we have to back-peddle and apologize because what we said didn’t come out ANYTHING like the way we thought it would?10 seconds is all it takes to decide if you should say what you think you’re going to. Think about it.

I work with a kid who is one of the KINDEST people I know. He always has the best attitude and is always willing to help. He’s appreciative of every little act of kindness, and he is always so willing to help. He never volunteers to leave early, and offers to do the hard jobs that no one else wants to do. I want to be that kind of person.

Not everyone is going to be receptive to your kindness. You may be ridiculed, questioned, criticized, or abused for branching out. This is where the courage comes in. Have courage to not let those opinions or remarks deter you. Do not stop being kind because a friend made fun of you for helping someone out. Keep trying; it will pay off. Tell those people to kiss your bum. For those of you who make snide remarks about the kindness of others, KNOCK IT THE HECK OFF. No one wants you around with that attitude (look at me, being a hypocrite)

I’m making a goal to be more kind to everyone, and to think before I speak. Cut me some slack – Rome wasn’t built in a day

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Churched UP

AND NOW – a side of Annie that is rarely seen – the emotional sappy side.

I have this thing where throughout trials or hard times in my life, I suffer alone. I don’t like to talk it out/express my feelings/vent (sometimes). But I occasionally have moments of weakness, just like everyone else. I’d like to share something that is near and dear to me. Keep the snickering and mocking to yourself YOU HOODLUMS.

I am at a hard time in my life. I am living in a state of limbo. I’m just floating along. I’m in school, living at home, quitting my job. I have virtually no friends, no “dating scene”, and I spend most weekends at home or at the gym. This is fine – There is nothing wrong with this. It’s just been going on for so long that it feels permanent. I’ve heard from various people that this is one of the hardest ages of life, where you’re just in between. Not yet an adult really, but not really a kid.

I would like to share this quote with you.

“Often, before you meet the love of your life, before you have children, or before your dream career begins, there is a stage of limbo that other people, even your own inner feelings, will try to shame you for being in. However, I offer the reminder that any stage of personal growth is a worthy stage in life, and I believe that through great labor, theses seemingly frustrating periods of life can become lasting and eternal moments of personal creation. Never let societal expectations or someone’s differing opinion of your decisions or timeline determine your worthiness.” – Gentry Thomson

Throughout the last several months, while acting like a complete idiot, I have lost sight of what was once very important to me – the gospel.

(YEAH this one of those types of posts. So get the heck out if you think it’s dumb. This is your last warning)

Guys, if I know one thing, it would be that Christ lives. He suffered for our sins, so that we could make dumb decisions and be saved. Heavenly Father loves each and every one of us SO much. We are unable to comprehend the love that he feels for us. We may feel that we are completely alone. You may ask yourself, Lord, why me? Why are you letting this happen to me? Do you like to see my suffer?

One of my absolute favorite scriptures, that brings me to tears every time without fail, is Doctrine and Covenants 122:7

And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.

There is a purpose behind every action or reaction that we face. Life is hard. This is common knowledge throughout every single generation on the planet. Have you ever had an experience that seemed so awful while you were in it, but looking back, it wasn’t so bad? Have you ever looked back and realized just how comforted and loved you actually were?

Heavenly Father is always looking out for you. He gives you the opportunity to choose, but he also knows what is best for you. You are never too far down the wrong road to turn around and take a different route. He will never let you walk alone, I assure you. Last week, I was sitting my garage, down and out, and just feeling like junk. I checked my email, because that’s what you do when you’re bummed? There was an email from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It happened to contain the latest Easter video for the #becausehelives campaign. One line sticks with me. “For the good, the bad, the in-between – He is there. He lives.” Tears were shed, blahblahblah, all was well. This past Sunday, after church, I was in such despair that I knelt down in the living room and sobbed. I cried and cried until my eyes couldn’t see and my head hurt. I prayed for comfort, and none came. I prayed for relief, and none came. I was hopeless. All at once, I felt as if I was wrapped into a warm embrace. It came to me that all would be okay, and that life would even out. The tears stopped, I composed myself, and it was okay.

Relief does not come all at once. There are consequences for each action, whether good or bad. Just like putting your hand on a hot stove, there will be a consequence. Sometimes, you just have to ride it out and hope that you come out in one piece on the other side. You will survive, I assure you. Whether it’s breaking up with your boyfriend, not making any friends in college, or facing the stresses of life, you will survive. You’re going to come out the other end as a better person. I promise.

I love this gospel, and I love my savior. His grace is everlasting and perfect. He suffered all things – he knows EXACTLY what you are going through. He felt every emotion, every pain, every joy, every stupid decision. He is the greatest friend and redeemer, and He is all powerful. I cannot wait to meet Him when the time comes – I cannot wait to be encircled in his arms and know that I truly was never alone.

Watch the Easter Video Here

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Food service – why everyone should work in it at least once 

For those of you who are currently employed in a food service job, or have worked at food location for longer than one month, I commend you. You should get a medal of achievement, because it really is spectacular. 

I’ve been employed as a cashier at a local sandwich shop for the past month. I was hired at the beginning of March, and I just put my two weeks in yesterday. Yes, I am a real winner. Thank you. 

After only being there a month, I have learned so many life lessons that I could probably write a novel about it. BUT, I will spare you and just fill you in on the most prominent. Consider yourselves lucky.

1. The general public basically sucks. 

Guys, we are the worst. Really. We are selfish, demanding, impatient, and sometimes unkind. If you think that you are a kind individual, please go to a fast food restaurant and wait 20 minutes for your food to be brought out. That’s how you find out what someone is really made of (use this as a test when you’re trying to figure out if someone is marriage material). People, include myself, get impatient about the dumbest things – EVEN A SANDWICH. It’s understandable though, I will admit. You pay for a product, you want it to be right. But when a cashier at a restaurant tells you that they are out of something, please understand that it is NOT their fault. They didn’t eat all of the brownies, or throw all of the bread pudding away. Sometimes there just isn’t enough, and they are trying their best to get more in, so please, be patient. We go into restaurants 3 minutes before they close, and stay to eat our food, even when they are cleaning up. We don’t tip, even though the service was great. We forget that it is really so easy to just be kind. (PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD, DON’T ENTER A FOOD ESTABLISHMENT RIGHT BEFORE CLOSING, AND ALWAYS ALWAYS TIP THE STAFF IF THEY’VE DONE A GOOD JOB)

2. Your coworkers can make or break the job.

I LOVE my coworkers. They are the best. They are some of the funniest, most genuine people I have ever met. I know that if I was ever in trouble, they would back me up. You also make the most unlikely of friends. They might have a different lifestyle than you, but as long as they’re kind, it doesn’t matter. You can make the environment any way that you want where you work – you can make yourself miserable, or enjoy the ride and be cheerful. 

3. Things will not always go your way.

Sometimes, you may tell your boss that you can only work certain days, and they schedule you the complete wrong hours. Sometimes you work several Saturdays in a row, even when there are parties or events that you don’t want to miss. You have to keep your composure and not flip your lid. It’s all going to be fine. Sometimes a customer will be impatient with you, and you have to remain happy and cheerful, and keep a bright fake smile on your face. You’re going to survive it. Sometimes, even though you feel like you’ve been working your sweet little buns off, your paycheck isn’t enough to order the lowering springs you wanted for you car. That’s okay. You’ll get through it. You have to adapt to what’s going on around you. Relax. 

4. You can line someone else’s pockets, or you can line your own.

If you are working for someone, you are ultimately making them more money than you will ever make yourself. You are subject to their behavior and emotions, as well as their actions and what they want you to do. When you’re the boss, you can do whatever you want, and you’ll be making the most money. Needless to say, I will never be one of the people that lines others pockets. I’m far too selfish for that. 

5. Life is far too short to spend your time being miserable. 

I wouldn’t necessarily say that this job is miserable. It’s just that I would rather be doing something else. I was not cut out for this, I admit it. I’m not tough enough for the food industry. I’m just a tender lil nugget. I’m sure I’m not alone in this, but thinking about going to work makes me so stressed and bummed that it bothers me all day. When I know I have to work later, my whole day is thrown off. Luckily, I work with awesome people, and I am going to miss them dearly when I leave. But you should work somewhere that you love, and that you wake up excited for every day. That’s the most important thing. Follow what you’re passionate about. Never settle, ya feel me?

6. GO TO COLLEGE. 

I’m sure there’s more, but I’m exhausted because, wouldn’t you know, I just got home from work. 

A Girl and Her Car

For those of you who know me, or follow me on ANY social media platform, you may be thinking that I am in love with my car. This is partially right. I am actually OBSESSED WITH IT. It’s a healthy obsession, but it is also an expensive one. (For all of those blind or anti-media people, I currently drive a 2013 Mk 6 VW GTI. It has been affectionately dubbed “The Egg”)

WELL, following typical Holdsworth fashion, I have grown tired of having the same car for almost 3 years – I purchased the Egg in the summer of 2012, right after graduation. It was a grand ol’ time and haven’t even crashed it once. I haven’t even gotten a speeding ticket in the thing, can you believe it?!

I digress. I have grown tired of the Egg, but not entirely. It’s like eating your favorite food everyday for year; it’s awesome for a while, but soon you just crave something different. I have never eaten my favorite food (avocado toast) for a year straight, but I imagine that’s what it’s like.

The GTI is one of the best cars that has ever been made; ask any “car guy”. It’s punchy, zippy, great, adaptive, fast, turbo charged, and just great. It’s a great value and you get one of the funnest cars to ever be driven. Car and Driver named it the car of the year for 2014 – don’t try to tell me that it doesn’t rock your world. I recommend it for everyone.

For the last several weeks, I have been on the hunt for the next addition to my hobby. I’ve played back and forth with modifying and tuning my current car – lowering it, getting a larger turbo, changing the exhaust – and just throwing down on a new one. I would tune it, BUT what I want to change most is the body style. It’s just become a little dated to me; feel free to disagree, but this is my blog and I do what I WANT. (But thank you for reading; I love you, you’re great.) I’m against body kits and would never do one, so that’s out. The hunt for the new car was on.

I had several that I was very interested in – The Subaru BRZ, the new Ford Mustang, the Mk 7 GTI. I took my little self down to the dealerships and now I’m gonna tell you all about it.

BRZ – Drastically underpowered, which was disappointing. It’s SUCH a great looking car, but it just doesn’t have the internals to keep up with it. Give me an STI version, and I may consider it. It’s powered by a Boxer engine, which would leave the impression that it would knock your socks off. My socks stayed securely on my little feet. The interior was alright, nothing that made me cry for it’s beauty.  6/10

Ford Mustang – Impressed, but not built for small people. Visibility was hard for me, but it would have been livable. Very powerful – over 400 horsepower, double what the GTI has. Manual transmission was great, and the interior was very cool. It reminded me a lot of the Ford GT – I have the impression that was their intent. It’s got an independent rear suspension, which limits slip when flying around corners. The exhaust is snorty and the mirrors rumble right along with it. It’s a lot to handle – If you didn’t know what you were doing, it would be very easy to be an idiot behind the wheel of this car. 8/10.

AND NOW – A great dealership experience for all of you sweeties still reading. I show up at the local Ford dealer, ready for a test drive. Now, most salesman won’t take me seriously due to the fact that, 1. I am young. 2. I am a female. These are both irrelevant – money is money. I probably know more about the cars than the actual salesmen do, if we’re being completely honest. ANYWAY, I show up, and the receptionist directs me to an older man, we’ll call him Bud. At first, he seems friendly and ready to help – I want to test drive a manual transmission 5.0 mustang GT. We get in the car to take it out, and all hell breaks loose. He didn’t say a word to me about the car. Nothing about the horsepower, the transmission, the interior – NOTHING. He turns to me and says, “This is supposed to be my day off. But since it’s the end of the month, I had to come in. If I seem unfriendly or rude, that’s why.” Uh, okay? Weird act number 1. I take the car around with this guy, who is clearly an idiot, and just lost the sale of a car. We get on the freeway for, I kid you not, 1 exit, and turn around and come back. That is not NEARLY enough time to test a car like that. We get back to the dealer, and that’s when I smell it. THIS GUY IS DRUNK. AT WORK. I could smell it everywhere around him – his desk, his clothes – everything. He then proceeds to try to sell me on an automatic, which is something I distinctly said I DIDN’T want. We take an automatic out, still nothing about the internals or ANYTHING related to the car. We get back, and I seriously could not wait to get out of his presence. Needless to say, if I was to buy a mustang, it would not be from this guy. I could write a whole post about the way that I get treated at car dealerships. Maybe I will.

GTI – I took this car out about a month ago. It’s just like my car, only zippier. It’s got a little more horsepower and torque than the Egg does, and the exterior and interior have been redone. It’s refreshing and modern; the interior is like a spaceship, and even the steering wheel has been modified. My one gripe is that the plaid cloth seats are only available on the basic version. Anything else, you get leather. First world problems, I know, but I DETEST leather seats. They burn your legs in the summer and freeze your buns in the winter. My current egg has plaid cloth seats, the sunroof, and the improved stereo. The basic version of the Mark 7 has the seats, but no upgrades. Come on, VW, stop messing around! Overall, a great car. 9.9/10 (just because of the dang seats)

So what’s next for good ol’ Annie? A Mark 7 GTI. Don’t fix it if it’s not broken, am I right? I’m hoping to get one in the next couple months, BUT I’m not sure. I’m sure I’ll keep you all updated, whether you like it or not. I’m keeping my eye out for a two door, white, manual transmission – Egg 2.0

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2015

In case you weren’t aware everyone, it is now 2015. The year of “This is gonna be MY YEAR!” and #newyearnewme. I’m a big fan of the last one. Hashtags are just so elegant.

School starts tomorrow and it makes me want to vomit just thinking about it. Classes start at 8, which means that I”ll have to wake up at 6:45 to put my war paint on. That also makes me want to vomit. That last time I woke up that early was who knows when. In reality, I’m only going to get ready for the first two days of school. The other days I go straight from the gym to class, which I know is everyone’s favorite. I’m even more beautiful when I’m sweaty and gross. Can you believe it?

I guess I’ll publicly announce my goals for this year, because if it’s not said on the internet, it’s not valid. I think that’s how the universe works.

1. Get HELLA good grades this semester

2. Spend at least 2 hours in the library

3. Go the gym and get hella buff at least 5 days a week.

4. Make every boy fall in love with me and then crush their hearts

5. Not miss a single class unless it’s for my birthday. (March 22, mark your calendars, I turn 20)

6. Get a job. Cool.

See, aren’t I sophisticated?

To give you an example of the exciting life I life, tomorrow after school I get to go to the dermatologist AND I get to get my hair done. I need to slow down, people.

ANNIE OUT

thoughts so far

Well you crazy kids, I’ve been home for over 2 weeks now. Time flies, blahblahblah. I guess now is a proper time to reflect on my long time back here on the mainland.

Utah is cold. VERY COLD. You may be under the impression that hell is hot. This is false. Hell is lined with ice and is covered in 12 inches of snow. Hell is icy freeways and a car that is a little junky in this weather. (GTI, I love ya, but we gotta work on this.) H-e-double hockey sticks has biting winds that howl all freaking night like the devil is knocking on your door (which is actually probably the case in hell). Hell is spending 4 hours chipping at the ice on your driveway only to have it dump snow later that evening. Utah is so cold that it makes your skin flake and crack because the air is so dry. I think I may be slowly turning into either an alligator or a snake.

Utah drivers are some of the worst I have ever encountered. They beat out the senior citizens of Prescott, Arizona. This was previously not thought to be possible. Here’s the problem. I hate minivans, and frankly I think that if a minivan is your vehicle of choice, you need a little bit of mental help (except my aunt meg. she freakin owns the minivan and she is the coolest). Sure, they’re efficient and convenient. But I have an issue with the mom in the front seat, putting on her makeup/slapping kids in the back/putting on said childrens missing clothing/texting/writing someone a happy birthday message on Facebook/trying unsuccessfully to drive. Yes, going 15 over the speed limit, on the freeway, when there is clearly snow falling from the sky and ice covering the payment, with your 5 children in the backseat is FOR SURE THE SAFEST WAY TO TRANSPORT YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY. Then, in the other car next to you, you have the teenager who is trying to drive while also texting/snapchatting/checking the likes on instagram. That comes in a close second. Yeah, I’m not a perfect driver either. I’ve sent the occasional text and it’s a fact that I’m a hypocrite. Relax.

I was not made out for the loafing life. I’ve been sitting around on my keister for the last 2 weeks and it’s not my favorite thing in the world. There’s just not that much to do (sue me) and the same routine ALL DAY EVERY DAY. Yeah there’s more I could do but that requires a form of currency (usually money) of which I do not have. I do not have money because I do not have a job. I do not have a job because I’m a lazy slob GET OFF ME SHEESH

Home wards are weird, singles wards are weird, the gospel is awesome. Home wards are weird because everyone has kids and there are a minimum of 4 children crying at any given time. Everyone talks about their families and then they give you a i’m-not-judging-you-but-i-kind-of-am type of look when you say that you’re not yet engaged/dating/planning for a mission. Singles wards are even worse, because it’s mostly dudes who are at least 28 and there’s a reason they’re in the singles ward. NOW DON’T GET ME WRONG: this is not an anti church opinion. I’m just anti people. Sorry (kinda).

Now I’ve got to go wash my scaly face and drive to the airport to get my sweet pops so we can celebrate the new year.

Stay tuned,

QA

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Blocking out the h8ers with some burberry

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docs and madewell are your friends wherever ya go

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Straight for rental car return in our for sure not rental car (that I know of)

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The egg in all of her snowy glory

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I sent this cute elder a package and this is him holding some of the stuff in it. Makes me so happy UGH

Clichés and clean rooms

I think that I have literally become the cliche Utah Valley girl. I have a blog, I like that cursive-y style writing and gold polka dots, AND I am beginning to have a fetish for flowers. Please stop me before I travel any farther into this worm hole.

I am happy to announce that I have finally cleared out all of my unwanted junk and moved back into my room. Please hold your applause. I have spent the last 3 days trying desperately to get my room under control, but it eventually turns into me sitting on the floor binge watching netflix. I live the most glamorous of lives.

We have lived in this house for 5 years and we have not even decorated my room. The walls are that hideous shade of manilla halfway-between-tan-and-yellow and it makes me want to vomit. I shouldn’t even care about it now because pretty soon I’ll be out of the house permanently, but it bothers me nonetheless. I think the only piece of wall art I’ve had in here ever was a rolling stones magazine poster of the Jonas Brothers. I’m 89 percent sure that I got it for free. (It fell off the wall 2 days after I taped it. I think it’s still in here haunting me for not hanging it back up).

Living in a different house with a bunch of people really makes you learn how to clean up after yourself and keep yourself organized. Yeah sure, I’m still a slob, but on a scale of 1 to 10, I’m probably at a solid 4 or 5. I used to be at like a 7 or 8. Slowly but surely I’m coming around. I don’t think I’ve thrown more stuff away in my life than in the last 2 days.

I’ll stop boring you with tales about my room. I went to the great and spacious building (hobby lobby) this evening and bought some frames and an “endless summer” wall decal. I had some stuff from a friend and from a little binder from one of my favorite designers. I managed to get them framed and hung, while also getting way too much spray adhesive on the kitchen floor. Sorry mom, I’ll clean it up later.

I want to paint the walls light grey (cliche) and get some sweet artwork to grace the space. I’m hoping to get my hands on some stuff that my friends have drawn, but we shall see. This is 5 years in the making people. Give me a break.

Over and out,

QA

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Calendar on the left: Anthropolgie Planner in the middle, and calendar on the right: Target Candle: Sweet Christmas gift from my dear mom

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Frame on the left: Hobby Lobby Picture on the right: Kate Spade Saturday “Eureka Book”

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Hobby Lobby I stinking love this quote. I could for sure work on the being nice to people. Whoops.

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Top left painting: Kate Spade Saturday Black quote: Hobby Lobby Palmistry print: Gift Bottom photo: Kate Spade Saturday

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