AND NOW – a side of Annie that is rarely seen – the emotional sappy side.
I have this thing where throughout trials or hard times in my life, I suffer alone. I don’t like to talk it out/express my feelings/vent (sometimes). But I occasionally have moments of weakness, just like everyone else. I’d like to share something that is near and dear to me. Keep the snickering and mocking to yourself YOU HOODLUMS.
I am at a hard time in my life. I am living in a state of limbo. I’m just floating along. I’m in school, living at home, quitting my job. I have virtually no friends, no “dating scene”, and I spend most weekends at home or at the gym. This is fine – There is nothing wrong with this. It’s just been going on for so long that it feels permanent. I’ve heard from various people that this is one of the hardest ages of life, where you’re just in between. Not yet an adult really, but not really a kid.
I would like to share this quote with you.
“Often, before you meet the love of your life, before you have children, or before your dream career begins, there is a stage of limbo that other people, even your own inner feelings, will try to shame you for being in. However, I offer the reminder that any stage of personal growth is a worthy stage in life, and I believe that through great labor, theses seemingly frustrating periods of life can become lasting and eternal moments of personal creation. Never let societal expectations or someone’s differing opinion of your decisions or timeline determine your worthiness.” – Gentry Thomson
Throughout the last several months, while acting like a complete idiot, I have lost sight of what was once very important to me – the gospel.
(YEAH this one of those types of posts. So get the heck out if you think it’s dumb. This is your last warning)
Guys, if I know one thing, it would be that Christ lives. He suffered for our sins, so that we could make dumb decisions and be saved. Heavenly Father loves each and every one of us SO much. We are unable to comprehend the love that he feels for us. We may feel that we are completely alone. You may ask yourself, Lord, why me? Why are you letting this happen to me? Do you like to see my suffer?
One of my absolute favorite scriptures, that brings me to tears every time without fail, is Doctrine and Covenants 122:7
7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.
There is a purpose behind every action or reaction that we face. Life is hard. This is common knowledge throughout every single generation on the planet. Have you ever had an experience that seemed so awful while you were in it, but looking back, it wasn’t so bad? Have you ever looked back and realized just how comforted and loved you actually were?
Heavenly Father is always looking out for you. He gives you the opportunity to choose, but he also knows what is best for you. You are never too far down the wrong road to turn around and take a different route. He will never let you walk alone, I assure you. Last week, I was sitting my garage, down and out, and just feeling like junk. I checked my email, because that’s what you do when you’re bummed? There was an email from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It happened to contain the latest Easter video for the #becausehelives campaign. One line sticks with me. “For the good, the bad, the in-between – He is there. He lives.” Tears were shed, blahblahblah, all was well. This past Sunday, after church, I was in such despair that I knelt down in the living room and sobbed. I cried and cried until my eyes couldn’t see and my head hurt. I prayed for comfort, and none came. I prayed for relief, and none came. I was hopeless. All at once, I felt as if I was wrapped into a warm embrace. It came to me that all would be okay, and that life would even out. The tears stopped, I composed myself, and it was okay.
Relief does not come all at once. There are consequences for each action, whether good or bad. Just like putting your hand on a hot stove, there will be a consequence. Sometimes, you just have to ride it out and hope that you come out in one piece on the other side. You will survive, I assure you. Whether it’s breaking up with your boyfriend, not making any friends in college, or facing the stresses of life, you will survive. You’re going to come out the other end as a better person. I promise.
I love this gospel, and I love my savior. His grace is everlasting and perfect. He suffered all things – he knows EXACTLY what you are going through. He felt every emotion, every pain, every joy, every stupid decision. He is the greatest friend and redeemer, and He is all powerful. I cannot wait to meet Him when the time comes – I cannot wait to be encircled in his arms and know that I truly was never alone.